Vipassana: The Ultimate Unbecoming
I never planned to do Vipassana. In fact, when I first heard about it three years ago during my meditation teacher training in Bali, my reaction was an immediate and firm, "Absolutely not. That sounds crazy." But sometimes, life has a way of leading you exactly where you need to be. Nearly three years later, there I was, ten days of complete silence, no distractions, just me and my mind.
Let me be real…it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. No talking, no eye contact, no reading, no writing, no music, no phone. Just silence, and over ten hours of meditation a day. But it was also one of the most powerful experiences of my life.
At first, I didn’t realize how much this experience would connect to the work I do. My work is about unbecoming, helping women break free from conditioning, societal expectations, and all the subconscious programming that keeps them stuck. And Vipassana? That was unbecoming in its rawest form. This wasn’t just meditation. This was a full-on rewiring of my brain.
For the first few days, I thought I was getting somewhere. I thought I was having breakthroughs. But that was just the warm-up. The real work started when my body began speaking—not in words, but in pure sensation. Pain. Discomfort. Resistance. It all came up, raw and unfiltered. Every itch, every throbbing, every aching joint wasn’t just physical. It was my mind, reacting, trying to escape.
And here’s the thing…there was no escape. You had to sit with it. No shifting, no fidgeting, no running. Just sitting. Just watching. And something crazy happens when you do that: everything starts to change. That unbearable pain? It fades. That overwhelming discomfort? It moves. Nothing stays the same. Nothing is permanent. And that realization? That’s a game-changer.
But let’s talk about the silence, because this wasn’t just about keeping quiet. It was a different kind of silence. The kind where there’s nowhere to hide, where you meet yourself fully, with nothing to distract you. And in that stillness, I saw everything differently.
A pebble wasn’t just a pebble; it was art. It was something to notice, to appreciate. A tree wasn’t just a tree; it was a presence, family, home, something I’d never truly experienced before. Even the sky, as I stretched out like a child, simply watching the clouds drift by, their patterns shifting as birds darted back and forth…it all felt different. And the mountains? So picturesque, so perfect, they didn’t feel real. Or maybe they were so real, they looked like a masterpiece.
It was like experiencing the world for the first time, without the filters of distraction, expectation, or thought.
And then, after days of deep solitude, we spoke. And the connection was immediate, as if words were just an afterthought to a bond that had already formed in silence. These women around me, strangers just days before felt like soul family. It was like we knew each other on a soul level without ever exchanging a word. And when we finally did speak, it was deep. No small talk, just real, raw, heart-opening conversation; a shared understanding of what we had experienced and an overwhelming gratitude for having done it together.
Vipassana isn’t easy. Not everyone completes it. There were moments I wanted to run, moments I felt I would explode. But I stayed. And in staying, I realized something profound: We are conditioned to avoid discomfort, but discomfort is not the enemy. It’s a teacher. It shows you where the work is. And if we can sit with it, if we can truly observe without attachment, we free ourselves in ways we never imagined possible.
What I do know for sure is this—this experience wasn’t random. As always, it was exactly what I needed, even if I didn’t fully realize it at the time. A moment that shook me, stripped me back, and gave me the clearest confirmation yet; I’m not just on the right path, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
It didn’t just reaffirm my work, it deepened it. Everything I’ve been sharing, not just in the book I’m writing, my coaching, or my retreats, but in everyday conversations, this is it. Because at the core, we’re all trying to do the same thing: break free from the noise, release the weight we were never meant to carry, and remember who we truly are.
But here’s the real challenge; Vipassana doesn’t end when you leave the centre. Inside that space, it’s a bubble. There’s structure, silence, and a complete disconnection from the outside world. But real life? That’s where the real work begins.
The practice isn’t about what happens in silence, it’s about how you take it with you. How do you stay present when the noise creeps back in? How do you hold onto clarity when life pulls you in a million directions?
Because Vipassana will change your life, if you let it. But it requires commitment.
The real test is in keeping up the practice, carving out the time, making it a priority. Two hours a day, one in the morning, one at night.
That’s what it takes to hold on to the depth of what you’ve uncovered and to continue journeying inward. And let’s be honest, life has a way of creeping back in. Old habits resurface, distractions pull you away, and before you know it, you’re back where you started.
But the choice is ours, to keep going, to keep sitting, to keep peeling back the layers like an onion, stripping away everything that isn’t truly us. Because unbecoming isn’t a single moment or a one-time breakthrough. It’s a lifelong process of going deeper into who we really are.
And here’s what I’ve learnt…this journey doesn’t stop at working through old conditioning or shifting behaviours. It’s about going beyond the surface, beyond even the root.
It’s not just self-care Sundays, journaling prompts, or those feel-good breakthroughs, though those have their place. It’s the kind of work that calls you deeper and asks you to be honest with yourself. It shows you what you’ve been avoiding, and what’s been waiting for you on the other side.
Because the deepest journey isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about meeting yourself again and again, in ways you never imagined possible.
And here’s what makes Vipassana different from anything else I’ve experienced: It’s not about theories, beliefs, or intellectual understanding, it’s about direct experience. You don’t take someone’s word for it. You feel it. You own it. This is a pragmatic approach to transformation, one where you become the master of your own mind through observation, not just blind faith.
This is just the beginning. I don’t have all the words yet. Maybe I never fully will. But I know something shifted, big time.
Follow along as I share more of my journey on Instagram: @journeywithakua
