(All) The Leadership Roles of Women

As we honor and recognize the incredible contributions of women to society during the month of March, it's important to consider the many ways in which women demonstrate leadership.

We tend to think of the term ‘leadership’ as a career related term connected with seniority, power, job titles and top pay grades.

Even simple ‘Googling’ brings up search results equating to career leadership, equality in the workplace and commercial, political and work leadership positions, training, research and so on.

But as women in society we take the lead in so many more ways outside of the paid workplace.

We are daughters, partners, wives, mothers. When we have a gap we frequently fill it by taking the lead and offering help among our communities, in voluntary roles or giving a friend a hand.

Would you agree that our own experiences (alongside an increasing amount of research to back them up says that):

Women are more empathic.
Women are better communicators.
Women handle crises better.
Women leaders can help bridge the gender pay gap.
Women make amazing mentors.
….and hence we are strongly positioned to lead more effectively (wherever that may be)

Roles & Impacts

But let’s explore each of the leading roles we take a little more, and the impacts of those roles that may resonate with you.

As Daughters

The Role: Perhaps this one kicks in more starkly as we get older and our Mothers start to ripen in age. A subliminal and societal expectation and duty of care emerges that we have probably been conditioned for as young girls (rightly or wrongly depending on your view point). There may be an expectation that we will visit, take the lead with decisions around admin, health issues and make critical decisions around care.

The Impact: While we may be happy to step into these shoes and do what is required, we are still daughters with our own needs; needs that get forcibly put to one side - acceptable in our role as daughters but taking a toll, all the same. We forget about ourselves for a while, putting our own needs and wants to one side.

As Mothers

The Role: The demands of Motherhood are countless and arguably lifelong. Taking the lead with critical decisions begins immediately; during pregnancy and giving birth; food, school and keeping young kids safe; social skills, teen years, early adulthood - and then beyond when technically children become adults…but they are still your children and leadership takes on a new guise; one of guidance, frame of reference, a place to lean, sometimes picking up pieces.

The Impact: Mothers are propelled into maturing without option. New responsibilities are learnt and incremental responsibility is required to be taught, continually over long periods of time. Taking the lead physically when children are young can take its toll and the energy to take the lead in nurturing children mentally and emotionally (often with entirely different characters at different ages) can be all encompassing and overwhelming, with a partial or complete loss of ‘sense of self’ along the way.

At the point where children fly the nest, Mothers can feel utterly lost, directionless, without purpose - an extraordinary juncture where you can equally sink or swim, be lost or rise up.

As Partners or Wives

The Role: This is where our role of leadership fits around another - where it shifts to something new, whether related to where you live, how you live, where and how you work, where you holiday or travel and what you do together or apart. Partnership requires compromise or better, consensus through communication. This can challenge what we are used to as leaders in life but leadership is still there, still a part of our role and still has an impact.

The Impact: Reaching consensus is critical for successful partnerships or marriages - taking the lead for ourselves in managing our boundaries, with our significant other in reaching agreements and leading the parts of our lives where we are strongest, all have an impact on us. Compromise, consensus and partnership all take us a little (or a lot) away from ourselves - from the imagination and dreams of our childhoods, from our freedoms as independent people; we can get jaded, disillusioned and lose colour.

In the community as volunteers

The Role: Sometimes volunteering fills a gap, which once upon a time was perhaps filled with one or more of the roles above. Sometimes, we decide to take the lead setting something up to bring value to our community - supporting the old, the young, the sick, the poor…or the environment around us. All voluntary roles are roles of giving - giving time, skills, support, leadership.

The Impact: We are still giving of ourselves and putting others first. Frequently we get back as much or more than we give but by default we are offering up a piece of who we are for another cause where someone or something else benefits. Putting our energy to causes outside of ourselves, when over done, can sap our energy and leave us questioning ourselves…’but who is looking out for me, who is taking care of me?’

What do women need as a result?

Whichever leadership role(s) we are taking throughout our lives as women the impact can result in a huge loss of ourselves and the dreams we once had. We spend so much time taking the lead to help others that we become drained, colourless, some other version of the girl or woman we once were. And because we have been selfless for so long, the concept of self care simply feels selfish - even going for walk or reading a book for 20 mins can seem a little self absorbed.

Self care is NOT selfish….it is critical.

Think about it like the oxygen mask on an aeroplane. In an emergency on an aircraft you are instructed to sort your own mask out BEFORE even that of your children. If you are not alive, if you are the one struggling then you are in no position to even begin helping others.

This same idea applies directly to life at times of exhaustion, having taken the lead in so many ways over extended periods of time.

At points of extreme tiredness and sometimes total burnout, it is critical to take a good look in the mirror and think very carefully - ‘what do I NEED?’

Also, beyond what you physically, mentally and emotionally NEED, you may ask yourself; What do I WANT for myself?

This may be:

New Beginnings
Re-strengthening
A new or refreshed perspective
New energy for the next phase of our lives
Exploration of old dreams
Adventure!

Where travel comes in to the equation

….and this is where travel comes in! Travel is a release for the soul. Through travel, we can give something back to ourselves; we can experience freedom, release, curiosity, wonder, connection, awe, appreciation, possibility, inspiration, transformation and beauty.

We can assess our wants and needs, address them as we explore and embark on adventures and bring back new perspectives and energies to help us cultivate change back at home in our everyday lives.

We are talking about travel as something beyond a mere holiday. Exploring geographically, culturally, societally and experiencing new foods, climates, eco-systems, architectures, peoples and attitudes can literally lift off the lid or remove the plaster cast that have often unknowingly placed themselves upon or around us over prior decades of our lives.

Travel refreshes, renews, re-energises and at Dream Catcher we explore every step of the way with you - from helping you articulate your needs, wants, frustrations and dreams, to taking you on a much needed adventure, to helping you cultivate change and apply learnings and new perspectives back into your ‘real’ life….and continue the cycle over and over again.

We’ll be unveiling some innovative new offerings that will support you no matter where you are on your journey, so keep an eye on our Instagram account and both the Journeys and Coaching pages on our website.

This blog was co-authored together with Sharon Hedges, experienced CEO of her own marketing consultancy, passionate adventurer and advisor to Dream Catcher.